I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
