i don't like sucking hair
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
