Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Farmville is her only friend.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
