Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
