we made out on top of his cat.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
