I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
