Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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