im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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