i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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