bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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