I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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