It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
