Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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