I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
