there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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