Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
