I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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