I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
