i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
