Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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