at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
