Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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