so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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