He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
