My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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