farters have to be the big spoon...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hippo gnu deer
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
