I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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