Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Holy sore nipples Batman
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
