If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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