I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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