i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
