This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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