That's when you crack a 10am beer
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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