I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize