She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I want a musical about memes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
