I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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