Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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