She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm gonna fight the coyote
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
