He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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