Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can tuck mytits in my pants
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
