Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
