I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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