Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
