i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
