woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
