My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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