if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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