i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize