1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
