thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize