OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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