I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize