Its about making memories worth repressing
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
