A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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