I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
